L and S eat at Le B

Laverne and Shirley go to Le Bernardin…

Pod Hotel 5:30 p.m.
Shirley comes through the door and the gabbing ensues. Over three years post culinary school to catch up on. Way too much (never too much actually) has happened yet interaction flows like it was just yesterday when we were making voul au vents that look like smoked salmon….

Time to get ready for our 8:30 rezzi at the the temple of all things aquatic, Le Bernardin.
Silk dresses in complementary shades of purple, check. Heels, check. Appetites, check. Hello kitty bandaids, check. Nerves, check?

Strutting down 51st street clearly we have chosen the right outfits, staring ensues. My legs are getting tired. We opt to cab it the rest of the way across 51st street to fend off any pre dining sweat. It’s new york and it is humid. We take a cab half a block and we are there. No wonder the cabbie gave us an odd look when we asked him to take us to 155 W 51st street.
We arrive at 7:50 pm, too early to go in. I am nervous are you? Absolutely, I know I am about to have my mind blown. Lets get a drink. Where you ask? Ruth Chris’s Steak House…two kettle on the rocks please. I drink half of mine and am relaxed and decide that maybe I shouldn’t go in to Le B drunk. Shirley disagrees. I finished the kettle. Shirley takes care of our pre gaming check. Yes we just pre-gamed at Ruth Chris’s Steak House for Le B.

Walking across the street, deep breaths are taken. Through the doors, Maitre D and Head Captain are all smiles. They are expecting us…As they should be?! So wonderful to meet you Ms. Laverne, we have two options for you. You can sit at the corner table so grown can sit with you or if you don’t want to, there is a table in the middle of the dining room. Um the former option please. As they walked us back to our private corner table, we were stared down by the other diners, their contemplative looks wondering who are these young guns in bright colors didn’t phase us…we were about to eat some “ballin”(term courtesy of Shirley) food.

We were seated and champagne glasses were immediately brought out. Bubbles were poured, cheers were clinked and we both gave a giggle knowing that this was going to be an incredible evening.

An electric smiling Frenchman glides over to us. Kiss kiss enchante how are you…a third empty glass is brought over, another cheers is celebrated over our perfectly seasoned salmon tartar with a bit of arugala and the most miniscule bread stick of sorts that we have ever seen.

We would love to create a tasting menu for you, is that okay? Ummm yes. (Do people really object to something like this?) (if you answered that question, it wasn’t rhetorical.) …Any food restrictions, dislikes, allergies? At that point Shirley was thinking if you put anything in front of me I would eat it. I was feeling frisky in the eating sense, and would too eat anything put in front of me. Even octopus we were asked. Yes even octopus. Okay well we are going to have some fun with you girls and don’t feel obligated to eat anything if you don’t want to. He calls the head captain over, instructs him what to do in terms of food. Calls over Mr. Austria, the Master Sommelier (who is amazingly talented by the way, and dons a rad traditional som medalion around his neck.) and instructs him to do a full wine pairing. I am in a haze of gastronomic excitement. Au revoirs and a bientots are had and Bethany and I look at each other, burst into a fit of giggles… another little cheers is in order.

The first official course arrives. A perfect piece of smoked salmon that is draped over a pinky size piece of toasted brioche with crème fraiche. Topped with glistening caviar, this is where our smoked salmon joke comes to fruition. Our wine arrives. Vintage Krug. Need I say more. Total shock like in a holy shit pinch me kind of way. The champagne is beyond and the smoked salmon is perfect. The barbeque essence from the salmon is so good with just the right amount of brioche and caviar. The silkiness of the salmon with the intense salt bursts of caviar was brought together by the crunchy brioche and the almost palate cleansing crème fraiche. Absolutely an oh my god moment.

With a constant flow of conversation, plates are cleared at the perfect moment and the timing of the meal is already impeccable. The breathers are full of giggle fits until the next course glides out of the kitchen.

Second course, kumamoto oysters. Six perfect oysters in progression. The Som comes over with a beverage tray. White Burgundy, slightly sweet and a glorious pairing to the progression of flavors atop the oysters. Apple was the first gelee and each gelee built upon the apple flavor. What stuck out was the fourth oyster with ponzu. Unreal. The final oyster was remarkable. Spicy, yet mild.. salty yet not offensive. The last oyster was so intense, and made complete sense. So complex, I was ready to makeout with someone after eating it. The aphrodisiac properties are no joke.

Third course

Charred octopus, fermented black bean, white peach sauce verge, ink, purple basil, and miso vinagrette. This is not scary. All octopus needs to be this good. Paired with a Sake that was sweet in the way rice can be sweet, if that makes sense. The course was perfectly cooked, great texture…I am amusingly in Korean Barbeque la la land with the octopus kicking it right along with me. Even though you can taste that it was chewy, as octopus should be, it still managed to melt in your mouth. The smoked hickory flavor that lingered was so pleasant yet didn’t knock your taste buds off track for the next course.

Fourth soft shell crab, peppered with avocado, coconut cream, sunflower sprout salad and lime sauce vierge. Again, perfectly cooked with creamy avocado and coconut getting all up in there with the crab. Shirley could eat big portion of this as a perfect lunch, I concur. I am sure there are people out there that don’t like soft shell, I am not one of those people. Avocado is also the shit for more reasons than it just tasted yummy. Paired with a Spanish white wine…blanking on what it was….it was light like a chardonnay I think…..

Fifth Avenue
We were chatting, chatting, chatting, completely enjoying every moment. The timing was still impeccable and totally tailored to our energy, level of conversation etc. Not everyone chats or some do more. Some people are high energy, others are reserved. The staff’s attention to every detail and ability to read us as guests completely elevated our dining experience. I can’t even count how many times we both stared at each other, burst out laughing….I know we keep saying this, but is this really happening to us?
The langoustine seared with mache, wild mushroom salad, shaved foie gras and white balsamic glides in front of us. Riesling is poured. The Som is excited about this one. Sweet Riesling with the langoustine!? I take a sip….delicious. We are still in the middle of some story as we take our first bite. We both immediately shut up. Holy shit is all I can say…. Langoustine is one of my favorite things, and this is so flavorful, sweet, evocative, stopped me in my tracks. Shirley relates this course to music…..you took a bite and you didn’t hear anything around you….everything made sense in that moment…just like getting lost in music….a very sublime dish.

Sixth was the halibut. This knocked my socks off and filled my nostrils with the most amazing aroma of sesame. Shirley wished she could take the broth and pump it into her viens. The poached halibut with braised daikon, baby radish, turnips and sesame seeds came out. An incredible sesame broth was poured next to the fish. Absolutely unreal. The sesame aroma didn’t overwhelm. There were 20 sesame seeds with the fish, and honestly the absolute perfect amount.
The fish fell apart when touched. So light and fluffy... Cooked masterfully.
After the langoustine dish we didn’t think it could get better, and it did. Everything just kept moving forward. The pairing was another exciting one. Wine with sesame…challenging and perfectly executed… Traminer, domaine andre tissot, arbois, jura 2006.

Before the seventh dish came out red wine glasses were placed. A bottle of Malbec came out….I love malbec. Oh a meat course? Heyo, give it to me. The last savory course arrives at the table. Escolar. Escolar with red wine…malbec??!!!!! WOAH. White tuna poached in extra virgin oil, sea beans, potato crisps, light red wine béarnaise. Our mind was blown at this point…a little drunk too. The ability to pair red wine with a fish so perfectly…it takes a master. The fish was so buttery and the potato crisps once they were coated with a bit of the sauce…unreal. Sea beans with their briney nature….not too intense. Sensory overload…life in overdrive…yet everything was totally in control.


Our brains are a little crazy at this point. The Head Captain (who personally served all of our food) asks if we want to take a visit to the kitchen while take a breather before dessert. Coco, the executive sous chef at Le B….his name is Eric as well….is all smiles when we walk in…I love him….the kitchen is pretty much in post service mode and I am still in awe….everything is vague at this point because so much has happened. A breather was a perfect suggestion.

Before we had left for the kitchen I was unsure if I should take my purse with me….should I or shouldn’t I? This took much contemplation because again…I had been wining and dining for the past three hours. Shirley told me to leave it and when we returned to our seats there my purse was…sitting on it’s own personal purse stool. Attention to detail much?

On to dessert

Our First Sweet Course arrives…Apricot, with apricot cream and coulis wrapped in white chocolate. Vanilla poached apricot and nayou ice cream. There was a spherical apricot …ie sodium alginate…great texturally…..Chef Laiskonis is excellent with making subtle changes in texture…delicate hand….I didn’t even realize visually that he put a certain texture in and then as we ate we uncovered many nuances…..

The next dish was a yuzu parfait, meringue, green tea biscuit and green tea ice cream.
Chef Laiskonis has a proper or great hand with green tea infusions…never too overwhelming yet certainly present…. I love meringue and the paper thin half disk was a great crunchy element to this dish. I also LOVE yuzu…anything floral is up my alley, as well as anything citrus. Together is always magical in my mouth.

These courses were enjoyed with our first dessert wine….oops our memory is failing us.

Next two courses and another dessert wine. Pistachio mousse cube with bing cherries, caramelized white chocolate with little baby cubes of pistachio cake…again a great hand with the flavors…the texture of the mousse was perfect for the flavor it was…not dense at all…light and creamy…go for dense with chocolate if you please but not when playing up cherries in my world.

The fruity next dessert had halves of raspberries and blueberries….almost like a berry cobbler but not gimmicky or cliché….I didn’t feel like I was being jipped of a proper bubbling cobbler…rice krispy crunchies…. green shoots…minty or lemony or was it basil???? I know I am failing at what my profession is here…but honestly was straight up impressed with each dessert course…does that even happen? Yes it does.

The infamous egg was next, not on the menu but prepared and sent out daily. We both took a bite and a sip of the beer poured for us by the Som…yes beer. A Cadbury crème egg on crack is what we mutually agreed on. We also had a moment of brilliance while enjoying the caramel crème, chocolate pot de crème and caramel sauce.….
From now on I will spend my Easter holiday eating Cadbury crème eggs with a cold pint. PERFECT…hey we might even mix it up with a few Caramel Crème Eggs.
…I wish I could of licked the bottom of my egg…shirley considered her long tongue and the lack of people left in the restaurant but refrained.


Vintage port oo I just got excited in my pants a little bit while remembering this port…is that inappropriate? Oh well.


Gianduja mousse ….or really gianduja cream, oregon hazelnuts, honey, banana, brown butter ice cream….is it so wrong to want to just eat brown butter? I don’t think it is. Add some sugar to brown butter and hand me a spoon. Freeze it into ice cream you say? Sinful.

Chocolate and Chicory….

Chocolate peanut tart, dark chocolate, peanut and caramel tart, meyer lemon puree, peanut powder, praline-citrus sorbet…. The tart pastry was perfect, and the right thickness as well. Filling delectable…I love lemon and chocolate together. The sorbet was seriously so well dell. Complemented and elevated everything. This tart was my last dessert bite of the night and a great one at that.


Complicated simplicity is Le B from amuse to the last chocolate crumb on your plate…take the petit fours home in the pretty little l b box with blue ribbon…or be like Shirley and eat them all. Woops.

Perfect amount of food….I didn’t even have a belly……considering how many flavor combos we had we felt absolutely….. we felt amazing….

So amazing that we skipped across the street and said our adieus…the start of something special

“….”goes with the train of our thoughts….
Shall I edit to make it perky?
Yes I will…
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